Growing Up! Episode 2 by @itsbrill

Kelechi reluctantly answered "no where" (that's his favorite answer), my mom then said "make una mind una sef oo". Kelechi sat close to my father to plug his samsung Galaxy, then his headset went in, when mom finished cooking we all ate and my mom, dad and Ibe went to bed, I stayed awake cos I had this my class mate whom I had a crush on, and fortunately she was online and we were chatting
Me: hello
Henrietta: hi
Me: whatsup
Henrietta: 5n
Me: ΰя day?
Henrietta: 5n
Me: Ok

And she never replied until I slept off.

Woke up so early to go to school, my school is not far from our house.
*****
Meanwhile, my bro Kenneth is at home chilling. All he did at home is kill his battery. His friend shows up, (he doesn't like his friends visiting him, he love visiting them) he peeped through our dirty window net and he saw Micheal, he didn't like Micheal that much cos Micheal talked too much, Micheal is a tall lanky looking boy, he wore a blue shirt and a black short with his leather ponds (that's the only expensive thing the dude owned), he knocks again and my kenneth reluctantly walks to the door, seeing the Micheal he said "stupid boy, na so you d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ waka d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ visit people for this kain early morning, you no get work"? Micheal smiled showing his 32 teeth, before he could open the door to come inside, kenneth opened it first and went outside with him to sit in a long bench close to our house. They both sit there for close to 2 hours until Micheal finally decided to leave, Kenneth was over happy at least he can go in and rest, they both shook hands and off Micheal walked out
********
When I got back from school, my dad was already back from work, he was busy studying for a talk he had at church, my dad always studied so hard for talks but at the ends he goes there and disgraces us all, because of that anytime he had talks we would all come very late so that we wount be there to watch him disgrace us. The man was studying zealously you, am sure if Chris Rock had studied like this he would have gone to college, I thought to myself. "Daddy good afternoon" I said, "ehem welcome" he said, I just removed my uniforms and threw it anywhere my hand faced, then went to the kitchen to eat, after eating I rested for a while before going to bed, I hardly slept at noons so I just lay there thinking: I thought of so many things but my best thought was that I was from some rich family, and that I was too cute, girls were dying to see me, I also thought about having a verified twitter account, I also thought about how I chilled with Wizkid, Dbanj, Ice prince and how I took photos with them and posted them on instagram and twitter, I thought about so many things, then I heard "Abuchi" kenneth was calling, he walked to the room where I slept and asked me "how do I look"?" Mtcheww, see kori man" I snapped. He always loved to hear how good he looked and that's one of the things you gat to do to be his friend, just compliment his dressing then you are a friend for life
******
Our church was not that big but was big enough to contain close to 160 people, the members have all seated down, then the chairman introduced my father as the one to give the talk for today, my father wore a very fat shirt that kenneth often referred to "parachute", my dad walked slowly to the alter he stood there dropped his bible on the bible stand, then he started
"The lord is good......." While giving his talk he never stood at one place, I don't know if I should call it pacing he paced around the alter like he was dancing to one of these ancient songs, we barely heard what he said, but at least he finally finished we clapped (that's what we do, even if yu don't perform well, they always clapped).
When we got home kenneth immediately told my dad his flaws, in our house we hardly accept correction, (that's what happens when you have too many professors I guess), my dad never agreed to any of his flaws, he praised himself. My mom had this habit of keeping quiet unnecessarily, after we finished eating my mom called us together (Lecture begins):

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone provided by Airtel Nigeria.

Growing UP.

"Abuchi!!!" I heard my mother call me, I quickly rose up from the
peeled ophostrey chair we got in our house, I was sitting in our
living room which was small, it could barely contain 6 people, I
rushed outside to see why my mother was calling me, when I got outside
I saw my mother bringing in the clothes I washed earlier from the
ropes where we spread our clothes for them to dry, our compound was
not very big neither was it very small but trust me it was over
crowded, for some of you who grew up in Ajegunle am sure you would
understand me well, our house was seperate from other houses cos we
stayed in two rooms and we were arguably the richest cos all our
neighbours stayed in one rooms (we felt like the Dangote of the
compound) our right handed neighbours was a couple, (they had no
child) this couple were the most troublesome couples I've ever seen, I
stopped greeting them cos of their high level of wahala. Our other
neighbours were mainly young ugly, jobless, uneducated fellows (mostly
girls though). As I stood outside watching my mom bring the clothes I
knew that today Professor Mrs, Chinyere Ejimozor and other well known
professors like my father would be giving me a full two lecturer this
night (that's what we usually get when we don't do things right) I
just walked back into the palour to continue watching the Mtv Base I
was watching on our 13 inch LG tv (for those of you who might be
thinking that we had DSTV, *smh* don't be decieved Stv usually showed
it everyday from 6-7pm everyday) fortunately for me Wizkids "Caro" was
playing and mhenn I loved that jam (song? any which ways) I sat down
to what I thought was a gold plated chair but nahh it was still our
worn out chair which my mom bought five years ago. My mom walked in
and I finally greeted her and the first thing she said was "so yu wash
clothes leave them for outside, sit down here they watch tv"? Damn! I
knew it, but as a big boy I didn't reply still in the spirit of
"Caro". Next thing she said was "where are ΰя brothers"? And I said "I
don't know" (that was our national anthem, nobody knew anything in our
house). She passed me and walked into the kitchen then came back and I
knew I was in trouble cos I didn't throw away the water I used to wash
the plates then I heard somebody scream "ABUCHI!!!!!!!!!" I knew it, I
calmed myself down (you know na, that's what I gat to do). Then she
came up to me and ranted for close to ten minutes, (I call it rant cos
I didn't get onÉ word from what she said). Top Of the World by Dbanj
(My Guy) was now showing, after all the rants my father walked in, I
greeted him, my father was a lanky looking man that to himself thought
he was a hardworking man but to me and my siblings he was just as lazy
as me (or even more). Then I knew that my lectures might begin now....
So I just changed the stations cos my father was not a fan of music
(old fashioned) I turned to NTA and you know them, NEWS is their
calling. My mom told my father my wrongs and all but who cares?? Am
sure I didn't and then my father called me "Abuchi" "why don't you
like throwing the water away"? He asked, "Nothing" I said, then he
sighed and the next thing he said was "Na wa oo" (that's what he
usually said). I was sitting at the long chair which contained two
people, and opposite me was my father, then my brother Kelechi walked
in (I am the last of 3 boys), Kelech i was to some people the most
handsome amongst us, but I didn't really care cos like me no girl
liked him, some did actually but not the ones we wanted, so we just
ignored them. Kelechi is 5ft tall, am taller than him, he is dark (we
are all dark) he has broad shoulders and is more intelligent
(sometimes though), my eldest brother Ibe walked in too, he is 5ft 2
inches tall (we are almost the same height). He is good looking too
(we were all) but he loved ugly and short girls, he is not a fan of
reading, he saw reading as some kind of hard work (till tomorrow I
still wonder how he passed his WAEC). He is 20 while Kelechi is 18 and
I am 16. As they both walked in they greeted my father, who by now is
engrossed in the tv listening to some rubbish news, my father
reluctantly answered their greeting, then the Lion of the house (my
mother) walked in from the kitchen and before she could answer their
greeting she asked "
Where una from"? Silence filled the room (TV was still on though)


EPISODE 2! SOON